Terms. Conditions. Asterisks.^*

Terms of Service^*

Last updated: March 3, 2026

Welcome to AssRisk. By using our website (assrisk.com) or our Moob application and related services ("Services"), you agree to these Terms of Service. If you don't agree, please don't use our Services. We'd miss you, but we'd understand. (We'd also keep our liability cap. See Section 7. We're covering our assets. It's what we do.)^*

1. Acceptance and Eligibility (adults only, please)^*

By accessing or using our Services, you confirm that you are at least 18 years of age (or the age of majority in your jurisdiction) and have the authority to bind yourself or your organization to these Terms. Use of the Services by minors is prohibited. No asterisk. We're serious about this one.^*

2. Description of Services (what you're actually getting)^*

AssRisk provides asset risk management, vulnerability assessment, and related security and compliance tools via our website and the Moob mobile application. We may modify, suspend, or discontinue any part of the Services with reasonable notice where practicable. Same energy as the rest of the site; slightly fewer booty jokes in the product itself.^*

3. Your Obligations (don't be a jerk)^*

You agree to: provide accurate information; use the Services only for lawful purposes and in accordance with these Terms; not misuse, reverse-engineer, or attempt to gain unauthorized access to our systems or data; comply with applicable laws; and not use the Services in any way that could harm AssRisk, other users, or third parties. We're fun. We're also legally covered. 420%.^*

4. Account and Data (your stuff, your responsibility)^*

Where an account is required, you are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your credentials and for all activity under your account. You are responsible for the data you input and for ensuring you have the right to use and share it with us. Our handling of personal data is governed by our Privacy Policy. (Yes, the one with all the asterisks. It's still binding.)^*

5. Intellectual Property (our asterisk, our name, our everything)^*

AssRisk and its licensors own all rights in the Services, including software, design, text, graphics, logos, and the "AssRisk" and "Moob" names and marks. You receive no ownership rights except a limited license to use the Services as permitted under these Terms. You may not copy, modify, distribute, or create derivative works without our prior written consent. We love the pun. We own the pun. Legally.^*

6. Disclaimers (the "we're not promising the moon" section)^*

THE SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. We do not warrant that the Services will be uninterrupted, error-free, or free of harmful components. You use the Services at your own risk. Our security and risk tools are aids to decision-making; they do not replace your own judgment or compliance obligations. We assess risk. We don't eliminate it. (Except the risk of not laughing. We've got that covered.)^*

7. Limitation of Liability (the "our liability cap" part—read this)^*

TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, ASSRISK AND ITS AFFILIATES, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AND LICENSORS SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, OR FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, DATA, USE, OR GOODWILL, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES OR THESE TERMS. Our total aggregate liability for any claims arising from or related to the Services or these Terms shall not exceed the greater of (a) the amount you paid us in the twelve (12) months preceding the claim, or (b) one hundred United States dollars (USD $100). Some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation of certain damages; in such jurisdictions, our liability will be limited to the maximum extent permitted by law. We're covering our assets. Literally. This is the paragraph that does it.^*

8. Indemnification (you break it, you fix it)^*

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless AssRisk and its affiliates, officers, directors, employees, and agents from and against any claims, damages, losses, liabilities, costs, and expenses (including reasonable attorneys' fees) arising out of or related to your use of the Services, your violation of these Terms, or your violation of any third-party rights or applicable law. Standard stuff. Still binding. 69 asterisks worth of binding.^*

9. Termination (we can part ways)^*

We may suspend or terminate your access to the Services at any time, with or without cause or notice. You may stop using the Services at any time. Upon termination, your right to use the Services ceases. Provisions that by their nature should survive (including disclaimers, limitation of liability, and indemnification) will survive termination. The serious bits outlive the relationship. As they should.^*

10. Governing Law and Disputes (Delaware. We said it.)^*

These Terms are governed by the laws of the United States and the State of Delaware, without regard to conflict of law principles. Any dispute arising out of or relating to these Terms or the Services shall be resolved exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Delaware, and you consent to personal jurisdiction there. Nothing in these Terms affects your statutory rights as a consumer where applicable. We picked one place so we're not fighting over 69 different courts.^*

11. General (the "everything else" catch-all)^*

These Terms, together with our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy, constitute the entire agreement between you and AssRisk regarding the Services. Our failure to enforce any right or provision is not a waiver. If any provision is held invalid, the remaining provisions remain in effect. We may assign these Terms; you may not without our consent. Full coverage. No asterisk needed on that one.^*

12. Contact (we're here)^*

For questions about these Terms: AssRisk, assrisk.com. Use the contact options on our website. Say "asterisk" for priority. (Kidding. We answer everyone. But we'd smile.)^*

^* See asterisk. These terms are binding. The jokes on the rest of the site are not. We still recommend reading this. We're 420% serious about covering our assets—and 69% serious about the asterisk. Both are real.